Gardenias and white picket fences.

IMG_20170807_121717
Picture by @TheLexash on Twitter

 

After you realised that your berries
were too diabetes for him and
your kitty too purr for him,
you learnt the song of apologies,
You spent months begging the suns not to make your skin glow and the moons to stop your tears from sparkling.
Days and nights passed,

And one day you picked yourself a
bouquet of wild flowers,
Placed some in your hair
And began to learn forgiveness,
Weeks and months passed,
And you learnt the song of thanksgiving,
You spent months thanking the suns for your glow and the moons for your sparkle.

                                               – Hera 

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Remember yourself

1f7a53314d5a8ecd6d1ced3e85fee6f9--african-goddess-black-goddess.jpg

                 Art work from google 

You went to appease the gods today,

barefoot and tired
Your òrìsàs handed you beads which you stringed
at your waist, wrists and ankles.
Today, you spent extra time in front of the mirror, counting each bead at your waist, reciting their names and meanings;
Osun, Oya, Mawu, Aja

Today, you sang the song your mother sang the day she left your father after thirty years of marriage.
And like your mother, you went to appease the gods for forgetting to worship yourself daily,
for handing yourself over to a man, like a
freshly prepared plate of amala and ewedu soup,
to a man who already ate, palm oil running down
his fingers as he feasted on your fleshly meat.

Today, you stood in front of the mirror and apologised to yourself, counting each bead at your waist, reciting their names and meanings;
Olókun, Obà, Ayao, Yemoja.

                                               – Hera

Ungracious church!! 

Unique

It was late one Friday night, he was driving across town after having a fun time with his friends. With his music turned up and his windows wound up, he was in a world of his own.

One moment all he could hear was the intense music booming from the speakers of his car, the next moment all he heard was a blaring horn, and he saw the headlights of what seems to be a truck flashing directly into his eyes. Moments later, he was in excruciating pain, his vision was blurry and he heard people screaming.”Take him to the emergency room, I’ll go get the doctor” a nurse said.

Yes it was an emergency, he needed saving, he needed blood, because his couldn’t save him. So the nurse ran into the doctors office, barely catching her breathe she said …”doctor we have a patient in the ER”. The doctor…

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Insomnia?

Dear 3am, 

We have got to stop meeting this way.

I’d rather much sleep with you. 

– Anonymous 

It was once of those nights
Where fear had me crippled on my knees begging for its mercy
My imagination kept building images in my head, none of them good.
As tears formed in my eyes
I knew once more that sleep would evade me again today.
I tried to ignore it but like a cat clawing at the doors to be let in, it never left.
I couldn’t even pray
Whenever I tried I heard cackling sounds it was as fear laughed in my face.
Those voices were haunting me
I kept on begging please
I needed sleep, Wanted it
But we don’t always get what we want.

                                   Tawni

I used to love you 3/7/16 6:12pm

I have hated you from the very first day I laid eyes on you.
If only i knew you would be the one to break me,
Leave my broken soul scattered like white lilies floating on the surface of stagnant waters,
Like white sand on ocean floors,
Stars scattered across the sky.
Beautiful yet broken.
But I’ve decided to wear this heartbreak like battle scars,
Angry but beautiful,
Like orange butterflies and aqua sequins ensconced between slight bosoms, floral designs on etched glass, pieces of a broken mirror submerged in my skin, swarovski crystals on french lace.
If only i knew you’d be the one to break me,
Leave my broken heart scattered like rose petals across candlelit floors.

I was the reason you got up each morning but i guess you just want to sleep in peace,
I guess my love wasn’t enough to keep you awake

                                              Tawni 

Death 7/6/16

“If he loved you with all the power of his soul for a whole lifetime, he couldn’t love you as much as I do in a single day.”

– Heathcliff, Wuthering Heights

He wrapped his strong dark arms around me making me warm, comforting me.
His words like whispers carried by the wind, come with me he said.
He was like a force, pulling me towards him.
I was the moth, he was the flame and I was dancing happily towards him.
I tried to fight him but I couldn’t,
I finally opened my eyes, I saw his onyx orbs stare at me and see through my soul.
He saw everything, I tried to run but he was faster, everywhere I looked, he was there.
I could feel myself giving in, I didn’t want to, I refused to be weak, so I tricked him.
Just when he thought I would go on, I stopped running, I surrendered.
His eyes grew soft once he noticed I had stopped struggling, he kissed me slowly, I felt like I was floating on air and as I moaned into the kiss I felt his sharp claws sink deep into my flesh.
His kisses swallowed my cries of pain, I opened my eyes as he whispered “I love you” and then we sank into the deepest abyss that was hell.

                                                                                                                            Tawni

“Even strong women

who fall in love with men

break apart

on the bathroom floor

at a quarter to three a.m.

hugging their knees

&

cursing their reflection”

-Ijeoma Umebinyuo, Questions for Ada

7 reasons why I like the Dark

The Nifeminist Blog

My First guest post on ‘Depression’ by Tawni

50 Breathtaking Examples Of Surreal And Dark Artworks | Free and Useful Online Resources for Designers and Developers:

“I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.”
― Og Mandino

1. Nobody can see me
2. Nobody can see me
3. Nobody can see me
4. Nobody can see me
5. Nobody can see me
6. Nobody can see me
7. One of my best talents is blending in, hiding, shying away or whatever you all call it.
The dark is my safe place.
You can’t see my faults, flaws and imperfections.
I struggle with depression and just a little hint of OCD.
When I’m upset I’m a mess.
Loud music doesn’t help anymore.
Those voices have found their way into the lyrics of my favourite songs
Songs that once calmed my mind
Their words jumbled up in my head. Loud,screaming
They crawled up into my…

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Dear men, not all Feminists are Angry

The Nifeminist Blog

NATURAL HAIR ART:

Dutch artist Sit “Haiiro“, 2012. S):

“Black Girls… Don’t be afraid to use your voice. Your thoughts, opinions, and ideas are just as important as anybody else. When you speak, speak with boldness and purpose. Have courage, be confident, and always be true to yourself! Live your life fearlessly! Your voice has GREAT power; don’t be afraid to utilize it when needed. You’re NOT an angry Black woman; you’re a woman who has something important to say. Your voice matters and so do YOU.”
Stephanie Lahart

If you have been in a situation where you’ve been denied so many opportunities not because you aren’t good , but because you are a woman, you ‘d understand what African Feminism is. you’d understand that being a Woman to me is like being Black. As racism is to Blacks, Oppression is to women from all angles of the society.
If you have ever had time to read and…

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When some Educated African Men become dumb

The Nifeminist Blog

GDBee arts: afro-arts: artofsalaammuhammad@yahoo.com // IG: artistsalaam:

“I believe in strong women. I believe in the woman who is able to stand up for herself. I believe in the woman who doesn’t need to hide behind her husband’s back. I believe that if you have problems, as a woman you deal with them, you don’t play victim, you don’t make yourself look pitiful, you don’t point fingers. You stand and you deal. You face the world with a head held high and you carry the universe in your heart.”
C. JoyBell C.

It took a whole lot of time for women to be educated-African Women most especially. To understand that they deserved more than just ending up in the kitchen, or bearing children endlessly. I wouldn’t say that ‘m lucky to have not been born in those Era when   all these laws and rules were enforced, perhaps I would have been killed out of much defiance…

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04/06/16

Love isn’t something you find. Love is something that finds you.
-Loretta Young

I am 20, and in love. I can’t say if he loves me too but he once did.
I have promised to tell myself continually that I will not believe in love until the day I can taste your name on my lips and feel your words burn in my chest.
Until the day I step into a building and all I can see feel and think of is you. Until I take a walk in the park and sit on a bench and then remember the this was your favourite seat until I can no longer function or think without you without remembering something you have done or said.
I am 20 and in love. I picked up my phone to call him but I couldn’t dial his number, I didn’t want to seem needy. I keep slipping into daydreams of you and me taking happy walks in a park, laughing.
We were playing hide and seek and then you found me, you moved in for a kiss and tickled me instead.
I am 20 and in love, if my father ever saw this he would probably kill me. You are my last thought before I go to bed and the first when I wake,
I’m 20 and in love, my heart hurts and I can’t say if he loves me but I know he once did.
image

 

Tawni